Make like mustard and ketchup.

It's been a while since I've had a chance to write here. There's been so much going on that this has slipped. I feel bad about that. I've seen my quicklink at the top of my browser but haven't clicked on it until now.

The first two weeks of November have been crazy for me. My other hats kept spinning over my head. So much so that I missed a few days of school to attend a meeting and dinner (part of committments that I love to be a part of). This means, lesson plans and prepping my students to be at a point where they could do the work without me there. Then, there were meetings for one of my other hats, which is another passion of mine and has been a part of my life since I was in junior high. I am happy and proud to be a part of these things, but unfortunately, it meant that my blog got a little ignored. I feel guilty about it. But, the upside is, that I've still kept writing my book.

Maybe because my brain has been fragmented with school and my two other major things going on that my book being written "in order" ceased. Hard to say. I've jumped around, outlined things, written lines down or starts of chapters. I have the timeline and outline, but I have parts of chapters written that don't have "numbers".

I guess I should explain what I mean by "numbers". When I wrote my first book, I jumped around in writing, but I did number them. Well, it was numbered in groups of 10 or so. So, instead of calling it chapter "1", it was "10" or "20" or "30". That way, when I inserted the other chapters or scenes, it was easy to insert into the numerical sequence. It became "22" or "25" depending if I knew it came immediately after or that there might be something else in between.

This time, some things are more fluid, I think. I'm more clear about the overall focus of a chapter. So clear, that I've been able to give the chapter an actual name, not a number. Last time, chapter names were hard for me. At least chapter names that foreshadowed or were significant to the events in the chapter. Before, they were more time frame oriented, like "Thanksgiving". This, of course, made it easy to give chapter numbers. Because Thanksgiving comes before Christmas. Since, my second book takes place in the winter, aside from Christmas and New Year's, there aren't many holidays or significant calendar markers. So, events aren't as tightly tied to calendar. It's more like a time frame. This is a major shift for me.

I was recently compelled to write a particular chapter. I love this chapter. I'm not done with it. But I continually reread the chapter because it shows so much growth of my main character. She's taking a risk. It makes me smile and evokes such emotion from me. I've shared it with two people and picked their brains about it. I really just wanted to share it, share what my characters were doing - even though there's a lot that happened between the last complete chapter I wrote and this particular one.

So, that's where I'm at now. Working on a chapter in the middle to latter part of the book. But having fun with it. I'm extremely thankful to have this project of mine to work on. It's kept me sane during the crazy November I've had. But then I have to wonder - is hearing or seeing these stories in your head really an earmark of sanity? I like to think that because I know these are stories in my head that that makes me sane. If I didn't know they were stories and I thought that they were real, I'd be in real trouble!

The Next Step Has Officially Begun

I'm officially in the next phase of the journey. I "heard" back from the first letter I sent out. It was your standard generic form letter. I wasn't naive enough to think that I was that lucky to have the first one hit, but you always hope. If you didn't, what would be the point of doing anything? So, it stung a bit, I'll admit that. But, it's process. I'll keep plugging away.

Meanwhile, I'll continue to write. Yesterday was so busy for me. Grades were due. As I drove to work, I had had some clarity in dialogue I had been thinking about. I had saw the scene in my head and knew, in general, what was happening. I just couldn't hear the dialogue clear enough. That is until I drove to work. I had worked it all out. But, I had little chance to jot it down - even parts of it. I stayed at school late (until 5pm and school lets out at 2:15pm) - tutoring and working on grades. I hadn't eaten or drank much all day, so by the time I got home, I was wiped. All I wanted to do was write. To have the sanctuary of my characters to clear and relax my mind. But I was so tired, and had other random things to do around the house. I felt flat. Once I got a few pages written, I was feeling a lot more like myself. I don't think I quite got the words down that I had thought about that morning, but I'll working on that and I'm pretty happy with what I ended up with... for now. Who knows... it may change before all this is done. Editing... it's nice to know I can do it.

The Envelope

I feel like my students applying for colleges. All your hopes and dreams are in someone else's hands. You've done all you can and you put it down on paper. Then all you can do is mail it off.

I officially finished and polished my first query letter. It's been edited and re-edited. It's been printed, signed and folded into The Envelope. I've made my self-addressed stamped envelope and placed it in The Envelope. The Envelope has been sealed and stamped. It's ready to go out in tomorrow's mail. And all the nerves that I had when I first started working on it have returned.

My husband kept asking me why I hadn't sent it out before. What was taking me so long? Part of the reason was I was waiting for a fresh set of eyes to help me edit it. That allowed some stalling. Now, that's done. There's no more stalling. I would love (what writer wouldn't) to have my book published. Can I be content knowing that I finished it to begin with? Yes and no. I'm proud that I accomplished the goal of writing a book. That begets a new goal - getting published. A much harder goal to get and not completely in my control. I have to try. Of course, that means putting myself out there. It's not like I enjoy criticism - who really does? But I can accept it. Well, constructive criticism, since I want my work to be the best it can. Criticism to just be mean, isn't right. I can deal with the constructive kind and being asked to rewrite. The big question is... will I be asked to? And I hope the answer is yes.

So, I sit here on the couch, staring at The Envelope next to me, knowing that it is the next step in my journey. I'm excited and scared to death. There's no turning back now.

The Drill

On Thursday, my school (as all throughout the state) participated in a massive disaster drill. I understand the need to do drills like this, but it's always during the same period. So, heaven forbid, something were to happen during a different time of day, the students wouldn't know where THAT class is supposed to go.

Anyway, knowing in advance I had my clipboard ready with the emergency report form I was to turn in when we reached our evacuation site. I also had my hat (It's hot out there and my hair traps in all that heat!) and, of course, my notebook.

After taking attendance and turning in the form, all we could do was wait. Students took pictures, hung out, wandered to see their friends. I let my mind wander and before I knew it, I had to open up my notebook and start writing. I think I can write anywhere, anytime. Waiting for a table or my food at a restaurant or waiting on the soccer field to be let back in my classroom so I can continue class - doesn't matter, I can write and enjoy those little moments to do it.

Life imitating art or art imitating life?

Life is funny sometimes. I've written a book. I pulled from a lot of different places for it. Now, as I sit back and go through my life, I see it happening. Okay, not exactly like my book. But, there are bits and pieces, chunks that I see in the people around me. I'm not necessarily just talking about their personalities, but their situations and experiences. Some of these things help define my character and the situations they are in.

So... is it because I wrote it and somehow things are coming true? (I know, probably not, that's what movies are made about and I don't pretend to have that kind of power. But it would be freaky if it was true.) Or is it because I've noticed "real life" so much that what I've written is realistic? I can't help but smile when I see something happening that reminds me of my characters.

Order of "Operations"

Okay, order of operations is a math concept, but I couldn't resist - being a math teacher and all.

I started writing my second book, I started "in order". It is a far different experience than my first book. My first book, I wrote things somewhat out of order. I jumped around writing different scenes. Sometimes they were generally in order - with huge gaps in between. Then I went through and "connected the dots". What was funny, to me at least, was that as I reread my work and I heard my characters voices, I'd hear their words and think "They should say..." then the next sentence would have those words. I took that as a good sign, I heard my characters' voices so clearly. Their personalities were clear. They were real to me and have a life of their own.

This book was being written in order. At least the better part of the first three chapters. It flows and I naturally started at the beginning. Which, wasn't really the beginning because it was a continuation of the first book. So, I didn't really see it as starting over. The story just continued.

Then, something switched/clicked/flipped I'm not sure what to call it. I saw a scene that I had to write. All of a sudden, I was writing two different scenes at the same time. These two scenes had two completely different emotions - happy and not-so-happy. It was strange to do this simultaneously, but I was compelled to do it. I write what comes to me. It has a life of its own. Not only was I writing "out of order" but with two different emotions. Weird and kind of liberating. I'm not quite sure where it fits exactly with everything. It's not like it's just a scene or chapter or two away. It's further along in the book - somewhere. I haven't clearly seen what leads up to it or what's behind it. But that scene, which I knew was going to happen in some way, suddenly became clear and had to be written.

So, now I'm writing in order and out of order. And I'm enjoying every minute of it.

Title?

I've been marinating on my query letter to send out to agents. I'm actually feeling pretty good about the summary and hook that I've written about my book. It's my title that's tripped me up.

The working title has been a phrase that I keep saying when I've described it to a few people. So, to me, that's what the title has been. But, now that I've written the query letter, it doesn't quite seem right. So, I've been trying to brainstorm other possible titles. I've teetered from one to another, not completely embracing any one thing. Should it be foreboding? Poignant? Intriguing? Catchy? Each, to me, has a different flavor. But all do connect to the main characters and storyline. It's tough.

I realize that no matter what I choose right now, it could change - in the happy event that it does get published. But I do want it to be it's own tag line of sorts. I want a title that would make anyone curious when they hear it - especially an agent or publisher. So, I'll keep working on it, but I really want to get the ball rolling and start sending out letters and see what happens!