The Envelope

I feel like my students applying for colleges. All your hopes and dreams are in someone else's hands. You've done all you can and you put it down on paper. Then all you can do is mail it off.

I officially finished and polished my first query letter. It's been edited and re-edited. It's been printed, signed and folded into The Envelope. I've made my self-addressed stamped envelope and placed it in The Envelope. The Envelope has been sealed and stamped. It's ready to go out in tomorrow's mail. And all the nerves that I had when I first started working on it have returned.

My husband kept asking me why I hadn't sent it out before. What was taking me so long? Part of the reason was I was waiting for a fresh set of eyes to help me edit it. That allowed some stalling. Now, that's done. There's no more stalling. I would love (what writer wouldn't) to have my book published. Can I be content knowing that I finished it to begin with? Yes and no. I'm proud that I accomplished the goal of writing a book. That begets a new goal - getting published. A much harder goal to get and not completely in my control. I have to try. Of course, that means putting myself out there. It's not like I enjoy criticism - who really does? But I can accept it. Well, constructive criticism, since I want my work to be the best it can. Criticism to just be mean, isn't right. I can deal with the constructive kind and being asked to rewrite. The big question is... will I be asked to? And I hope the answer is yes.

So, I sit here on the couch, staring at The Envelope next to me, knowing that it is the next step in my journey. I'm excited and scared to death. There's no turning back now.