A history of writing...

Last week, I (and a few friends) were organizing my garage. This meant that I went through most of the boxes in there. There were the usual random stuff - shoes, stuffed animals (lots of stuffed animals), old files, books, photos and stuff from junior high and high school. I know my parents still have some of that old school stuff in their garage, but I have a couple boxes that are my "important" memories from back then. In there, I found the school newspapers from my senior year - I was in the seminar play (mind you, there wasn't a "school" play, the seminar program that I was in put on the play). Actually, my participation in acting preceded high school - I was in my junior high's school play. So, did three plays in high school - sophomore, junior and senior years. Memories... And a love for storytelling...

Speaking of which... I found a play that I wrote in junior high. There was a program that I participated in. I remember going to after school workshops that taught us how to write a play. Of the two years that I attended the program, I was the only one in the school that actually finished and submitted my play. I think it was called Young Playwrights. I always thought that it was such a long play. I leafed through it. It was 18 pages long. Eighteen pages! Only!

Needless to say, it didn't take me long to read. I vaguely remembered what it was about. Actually, there were a few lines that I've always remembered and would think of time to time over the years (many years... wow! How time flies!). What's funny is that some habits die hard. Not habits exactly. But, favorites, I guess. One of the names of the main characters is similar to my current heroine. Same main name, different nickname. The favorites of one of the characters from the play is similar to that of some of my current main characters.

Time has passed, I'm more experienced, but some things didn't change. In one sense, I'm still the same me that I was back then. I've always tried to be true to myself and not be flighty. That's what I try to teach my students (beyond the math curriculum).

Soundtrack

As, I've written the first book, I started noticing certain songs that seemed to "fit." Fit the theme of the book, fit the relationship between characters or a particular mood. So, I kept a list. I have a working list of songs, that... if I were to give a somewhat musical interpretation or mood creator, I could. My husband would hear songs and tell me about them because it reminded him of my book. I'd listen and, sure enough, it really worked. One of my friends suggested a song and made it on my soundtrack list. They are the only two that know about my list.

Now, I've taken a little step further. I created a playlist in my mp3 player with the songs. I don't know why I didn't think of it before. Maybe because I'm busy teaching, writing, and dealing with all my other commitments. It's one of my favorite playlists. The only problem is when I play it when I'm driving, I'm thinking about those moments in the book that remind me of the song. Don't get me wrong, that's great. I just can't think or see what's coming next when I sing along with a song or am thinking back. I usually play instrumentals when I'm driving and I want to think about my story.

I've played my book soundtrack in the classroom, before school one day as students came in to hangout. Several of them commented that they liked the songs. Some they had heard, others they hadn't. They wanted to know the names of those they didn't. It's a good sign that they are good songs and illicit the emotion I was hoping for.

Anyway, I'm still on the lookout for songs. Actually, now I'm seeking songs for both the first and second book. It's a fun tangent to think about with my story...

Quick update

So, in the last week or so, I've done a couple of little big things. I submitted my book for copyright. That was an interesting process. I know that by just writing it, it's technically covered under copyright laws. But, for piece of mind, I decided to do it. Of course, the tough part of me was the title. Always the title for me. In my mind, my heart, it's one thing. But I don't know if it's "good enough" as a title. It makes perfect sense to me, but would it be enough of a hook for someone looking through titles in the bookstore? I don't know.

The second thing I did the other day. Sent out a couple more letters to agencies. So, the wait begins again. I really would love for it to appear in print. Not for my ego or vanity, but I think it's a story that many people can connect to and it has characters people can love.

Sorry to keep it short, class is going to start soon. Next time, I'll talk about my soundtrack.

When inspiration hits..

The tough part about going back to work is that I know I won't have as much time to write. That said, I started writing my first book during the crazy part of the Spring. Spring is a VERY busy time for me, with school and my other committments. But, I was a little sad to go back to work knowing that I couldn't spend as much time with my characters as I would have liked.

What's funny... well, not funny "ha, ha" but funny ironic is that the second I walked on campus flashes came to me. I had things I wanted to write. Of course, I couldn't. I had lessons to give, students to teach. So, during my whatever little free moments I had during lunch or during my prep (after I had finished running off copies and doing all the teacher stuff I had to do - have to get the real work done first), I jotted down ideas and wrote. When you consider I only had maybe 40 minutes total to do this, I wrote about three pages. I had been going over and over it in my head all day, so it was nice to get it down in the computer when I had the chance. When I got home - after a long day, my throat was killing me because of all the lecturing I was doing after not projecting my voice all week - I wrote at least another two or so pages.

Now, five pages for the day might seem slow going. But to me it's progress when you realize that it's not a full time job and I have to juggle many other things along with it.

Teaching... you get to see so many people - students and teachers - and each has a different story to tell. Just being around so much stimuli inspires me.

Well, the bell will ring in about 13 minutes... Need to put a different hat on now...

PS - I just looked around my classroom and there's probably over 15 students just hanging out.

Thanksgiving Break

So, this past week has been Thanksgiving Break from my real job - teaching. I never seem to get everything I plan to get done done. But I did get quite a bit of writing done, and for that I am thankful.

I've started one new chapter and finished up another. It's been nice to be able to focus on my writing and my characters. Of course, sometimes it's hard. Because I've had the time to focus on this, I've seen scenarios open up in my mind - both good and hard situations that my characters will go through. Life - and books - aren't all butterflies and daisies, so tough times are expected. But sometimes I'm so torn up inside knowing what coming next and I don't want to write it, but I know I have to, because that's what happens to them. They truly have a life of their own.

I've also had the chance to re-read parts of my first book. It was Thanksgiving night and there is a Thanksgiving "scene" in it. I was compelled to read it. Yes, right then. During Thanksgiving. Surrounded by family, who didn't know I was writing a book. I had pulled out my computer and was writing before dinner. Everyone was watching football and I'm not much of a football fan. But, my in-laws are a football family. So, I came prepared and brought my netbook with me. After dinner, as they watched another football game (I know Thanksgiving is about football, but it's always been lost on me), I decided to read my Thanksgiving chapter. I amuse myself. It was fun to experience Thanksgiving with my characters on the day of. I know that's weird. But that's me. Anyway, it made the holiday more fun for me, when everyone else was talking football or flipping through a million channels finding something to watch after the game.

I told one more person about my book this weekend - only a handful know about it. What was different this time? She didn't seem surprised. The most common response from those I've told was "Really?" They were surprised, not shocked, but surprised. Like I've said before, I do a lot of different things, so taking on "one more thing" is surprising to most. But I didn't take it as a "bad" reaction. It was kind of nice actually. For someone to not be surprised that I'd have a story to tell and would put it down on paper (or in the computer as the case may be). Also, it wasn't like it mattered that I wasn't an English teacher that was writing a book and that I am a math teacher. She knew you had to be just as creative in math as English. Our conversation meant a lot to me. Reassuring.

It's back to school tomorrow and juggling teaching (and everything else) with my writing. While I would love another week of break (who wouldn't?), I do kind of miss my drive to school and back everyday where I got the chance to really just let me mind wander. And drive safely, of course.

Make like mustard and ketchup.

It's been a while since I've had a chance to write here. There's been so much going on that this has slipped. I feel bad about that. I've seen my quicklink at the top of my browser but haven't clicked on it until now.

The first two weeks of November have been crazy for me. My other hats kept spinning over my head. So much so that I missed a few days of school to attend a meeting and dinner (part of committments that I love to be a part of). This means, lesson plans and prepping my students to be at a point where they could do the work without me there. Then, there were meetings for one of my other hats, which is another passion of mine and has been a part of my life since I was in junior high. I am happy and proud to be a part of these things, but unfortunately, it meant that my blog got a little ignored. I feel guilty about it. But, the upside is, that I've still kept writing my book.

Maybe because my brain has been fragmented with school and my two other major things going on that my book being written "in order" ceased. Hard to say. I've jumped around, outlined things, written lines down or starts of chapters. I have the timeline and outline, but I have parts of chapters written that don't have "numbers".

I guess I should explain what I mean by "numbers". When I wrote my first book, I jumped around in writing, but I did number them. Well, it was numbered in groups of 10 or so. So, instead of calling it chapter "1", it was "10" or "20" or "30". That way, when I inserted the other chapters or scenes, it was easy to insert into the numerical sequence. It became "22" or "25" depending if I knew it came immediately after or that there might be something else in between.

This time, some things are more fluid, I think. I'm more clear about the overall focus of a chapter. So clear, that I've been able to give the chapter an actual name, not a number. Last time, chapter names were hard for me. At least chapter names that foreshadowed or were significant to the events in the chapter. Before, they were more time frame oriented, like "Thanksgiving". This, of course, made it easy to give chapter numbers. Because Thanksgiving comes before Christmas. Since, my second book takes place in the winter, aside from Christmas and New Year's, there aren't many holidays or significant calendar markers. So, events aren't as tightly tied to calendar. It's more like a time frame. This is a major shift for me.

I was recently compelled to write a particular chapter. I love this chapter. I'm not done with it. But I continually reread the chapter because it shows so much growth of my main character. She's taking a risk. It makes me smile and evokes such emotion from me. I've shared it with two people and picked their brains about it. I really just wanted to share it, share what my characters were doing - even though there's a lot that happened between the last complete chapter I wrote and this particular one.

So, that's where I'm at now. Working on a chapter in the middle to latter part of the book. But having fun with it. I'm extremely thankful to have this project of mine to work on. It's kept me sane during the crazy November I've had. But then I have to wonder - is hearing or seeing these stories in your head really an earmark of sanity? I like to think that because I know these are stories in my head that that makes me sane. If I didn't know they were stories and I thought that they were real, I'd be in real trouble!

The Next Step Has Officially Begun

I'm officially in the next phase of the journey. I "heard" back from the first letter I sent out. It was your standard generic form letter. I wasn't naive enough to think that I was that lucky to have the first one hit, but you always hope. If you didn't, what would be the point of doing anything? So, it stung a bit, I'll admit that. But, it's process. I'll keep plugging away.

Meanwhile, I'll continue to write. Yesterday was so busy for me. Grades were due. As I drove to work, I had had some clarity in dialogue I had been thinking about. I had saw the scene in my head and knew, in general, what was happening. I just couldn't hear the dialogue clear enough. That is until I drove to work. I had worked it all out. But, I had little chance to jot it down - even parts of it. I stayed at school late (until 5pm and school lets out at 2:15pm) - tutoring and working on grades. I hadn't eaten or drank much all day, so by the time I got home, I was wiped. All I wanted to do was write. To have the sanctuary of my characters to clear and relax my mind. But I was so tired, and had other random things to do around the house. I felt flat. Once I got a few pages written, I was feeling a lot more like myself. I don't think I quite got the words down that I had thought about that morning, but I'll working on that and I'm pretty happy with what I ended up with... for now. Who knows... it may change before all this is done. Editing... it's nice to know I can do it.

The Envelope

I feel like my students applying for colleges. All your hopes and dreams are in someone else's hands. You've done all you can and you put it down on paper. Then all you can do is mail it off.

I officially finished and polished my first query letter. It's been edited and re-edited. It's been printed, signed and folded into The Envelope. I've made my self-addressed stamped envelope and placed it in The Envelope. The Envelope has been sealed and stamped. It's ready to go out in tomorrow's mail. And all the nerves that I had when I first started working on it have returned.

My husband kept asking me why I hadn't sent it out before. What was taking me so long? Part of the reason was I was waiting for a fresh set of eyes to help me edit it. That allowed some stalling. Now, that's done. There's no more stalling. I would love (what writer wouldn't) to have my book published. Can I be content knowing that I finished it to begin with? Yes and no. I'm proud that I accomplished the goal of writing a book. That begets a new goal - getting published. A much harder goal to get and not completely in my control. I have to try. Of course, that means putting myself out there. It's not like I enjoy criticism - who really does? But I can accept it. Well, constructive criticism, since I want my work to be the best it can. Criticism to just be mean, isn't right. I can deal with the constructive kind and being asked to rewrite. The big question is... will I be asked to? And I hope the answer is yes.

So, I sit here on the couch, staring at The Envelope next to me, knowing that it is the next step in my journey. I'm excited and scared to death. There's no turning back now.

The Drill

On Thursday, my school (as all throughout the state) participated in a massive disaster drill. I understand the need to do drills like this, but it's always during the same period. So, heaven forbid, something were to happen during a different time of day, the students wouldn't know where THAT class is supposed to go.

Anyway, knowing in advance I had my clipboard ready with the emergency report form I was to turn in when we reached our evacuation site. I also had my hat (It's hot out there and my hair traps in all that heat!) and, of course, my notebook.

After taking attendance and turning in the form, all we could do was wait. Students took pictures, hung out, wandered to see their friends. I let my mind wander and before I knew it, I had to open up my notebook and start writing. I think I can write anywhere, anytime. Waiting for a table or my food at a restaurant or waiting on the soccer field to be let back in my classroom so I can continue class - doesn't matter, I can write and enjoy those little moments to do it.

Life imitating art or art imitating life?

Life is funny sometimes. I've written a book. I pulled from a lot of different places for it. Now, as I sit back and go through my life, I see it happening. Okay, not exactly like my book. But, there are bits and pieces, chunks that I see in the people around me. I'm not necessarily just talking about their personalities, but their situations and experiences. Some of these things help define my character and the situations they are in.

So... is it because I wrote it and somehow things are coming true? (I know, probably not, that's what movies are made about and I don't pretend to have that kind of power. But it would be freaky if it was true.) Or is it because I've noticed "real life" so much that what I've written is realistic? I can't help but smile when I see something happening that reminds me of my characters.

Order of "Operations"

Okay, order of operations is a math concept, but I couldn't resist - being a math teacher and all.

I started writing my second book, I started "in order". It is a far different experience than my first book. My first book, I wrote things somewhat out of order. I jumped around writing different scenes. Sometimes they were generally in order - with huge gaps in between. Then I went through and "connected the dots". What was funny, to me at least, was that as I reread my work and I heard my characters voices, I'd hear their words and think "They should say..." then the next sentence would have those words. I took that as a good sign, I heard my characters' voices so clearly. Their personalities were clear. They were real to me and have a life of their own.

This book was being written in order. At least the better part of the first three chapters. It flows and I naturally started at the beginning. Which, wasn't really the beginning because it was a continuation of the first book. So, I didn't really see it as starting over. The story just continued.

Then, something switched/clicked/flipped I'm not sure what to call it. I saw a scene that I had to write. All of a sudden, I was writing two different scenes at the same time. These two scenes had two completely different emotions - happy and not-so-happy. It was strange to do this simultaneously, but I was compelled to do it. I write what comes to me. It has a life of its own. Not only was I writing "out of order" but with two different emotions. Weird and kind of liberating. I'm not quite sure where it fits exactly with everything. It's not like it's just a scene or chapter or two away. It's further along in the book - somewhere. I haven't clearly seen what leads up to it or what's behind it. But that scene, which I knew was going to happen in some way, suddenly became clear and had to be written.

So, now I'm writing in order and out of order. And I'm enjoying every minute of it.

Title?

I've been marinating on my query letter to send out to agents. I'm actually feeling pretty good about the summary and hook that I've written about my book. It's my title that's tripped me up.

The working title has been a phrase that I keep saying when I've described it to a few people. So, to me, that's what the title has been. But, now that I've written the query letter, it doesn't quite seem right. So, I've been trying to brainstorm other possible titles. I've teetered from one to another, not completely embracing any one thing. Should it be foreboding? Poignant? Intriguing? Catchy? Each, to me, has a different flavor. But all do connect to the main characters and storyline. It's tough.

I realize that no matter what I choose right now, it could change - in the happy event that it does get published. But I do want it to be it's own tag line of sorts. I want a title that would make anyone curious when they hear it - especially an agent or publisher. So, I'll keep working on it, but I really want to get the ball rolling and start sending out letters and see what happens!

Pen/Paper or Computer?

Sometimes I find it hard to pick which to write with: pen/paper or a computer. Ultimately, everything ends up in the computer. It has to be typed up. I can't imagine having to write a book on a typewriter.

Believe it or not, I do remember using a typewriter. When I was in elementary school and wanted my homework to look nice, I typed it up. The funny thing is that it was on colored paper, because for some reason, that was the only blank paper we'd have. And I wasn't a good typist, so I'd use the correction key and have little white-out spots where I made mistakes. Still, it was better than my handwriting - which I always seemed to get bad grades on back then.

Now, I bounce between typing my laptop or writing in my notebooks. Yes, that's notebooks - plural. I keep two of them.

I quickly realized that I needed to keep something on my nightstand, so when I had ideas I had some place to write them down on. It didn't take me long to get into the habit of writing every night before I went to sleep in that notebook. Sometimes, it would be pages. Sometimes, it would be a paragraph or two. Often, it was a continuation of a scene that I was working on in my computer, but not always. In the morning, I would take my notebook with me to my computer and type it in. The only time I wrote in that notebook would be at night.

Last night, I used up the last page in it. It's weird because it's its own sense of accomplishment. I don't ever remember the last time I used up an entire notebook - even in school. I would start a notebook, but never have the need to use every page (front and back). Well, I think once in math class in high school, I might have done that. But, through all the years of college - undergrad and grad - I never have. When I think about it, why would I? Back then, classes would be 10 weeks or 15 weeks long, then a new one would start. This would mean a new notebook. Or, to be honest, I'd lose one and have to get a new one. It was never all that important for me to hang on to one specific one so I could see my progress. Now, it was. Tonight, I'll start a new notebook and I'm looking forward to it.

My second notebook I carry around with me, all the time. It's smaller than your standard piece of paper - ie, not 8.5" x 11". But not quite half that size. It fits easily in my purse - granted I don't carry around small tiny purses. I keep various notes on my characters and their backgrounds in it. It's my reference. It's where I jot down the flashes of ideas or feelings I get about an upcoming scene. Just lke my feeling of accomplishment when I finished my nighttime notebook, I had a similar thing happen with my daytime notebook. My daytime book has different colored sections. When I completed one colored section and started the next one, I was proud. Again, I couldn't really remember the last time I had done that - except that same high school math class.

Last school year, some of my students asked me to come to one of their games in the gym. I went. I had fun watching them and I wanted to remember cetain things about the experience of sitting in the stands. I took out my notebook and started jotting down some things. Things I didn't want to forget. After that, I made sure I had it with me wherever I went. When I go out to dinner, I have it out. I'll write when we're waiting for a table or for our food. You never know when inspiration will hit.

At home, my laptop is always within reach - although, I have drawn the line at bringing it into the bedroom with me. So, I'll type directly in it. It's nice to do that. To be able to hit the backspace key to delete dialogue that doesn't work or edit a scene quickly is nice. Especially, when you compare it to physically writing it in a notebook and you have to cross out the words. It's also a heck of a lot easier to insert text anywhere. When you do that in a notebook, there's lots of arrows and symbols you have to use. Well, I do.

My writing, more specifically, my writing in notebooks have sparked an interest in colored pens. I don't like to write in black or blue ink. There's something formal or standard about it. It doesn't feel creative. Now, I wouldn't sign a letter of recommendation for a student or a grant with anything but one of those colors. However, for my writing I'll use bright, fun colors. For instance? Well, my daytime notebook has a turquoise, bright green and bright red (not the kind you would correct papers in) attached to it in the spiral binding. In my nighttime notebook, I use bright orange and mellow green pens. I like to alternate between the colors when I write. So, one day it's orange, the next is green. Besides labelling the date on the top of each new entry, it's easier to see the new thoughts because the colors change. That's my logic at least. So, with the back to school sales, I got carried away getting new colors of ballpoint pens. But, to my surprise, I've used up a few pens already. I've never done that - even in school - used up all the ink in a pen.

So, do I have a preference between pen/paper and a computer to write? Depends. Sometimes. But, overall? No. I can write just as easily with either. I'm just happy to write.

Starting anew...

So, it's the third week of school and I've started my second book. Don't I have a lot to do? Sure. Aren't I supposed to make time for myself? Sure. That's what writing is for me. I love it. I'm having fun with my characters. So, I'm having a blast.

It's strange because this time, compared to the first book, I'm writing from the beginning. At least right now. During the first book, I actually wrote the scene/chapter that's more of a third of the way in first. I wrote what came to me and that's what came to me. I had been thinking about that scene for quite awhile before I finally wrote it down. I jumped around and wrote other "major" scenes, loosely connecting them on paper (okay, in the computer and on paper - more on that later) and in my head. But now, perhaps because it feels like I still in the middle of the story, I feel the need to start at the beginning (the continuation of the previous book?). I don't know if I'll continue chronologically like that, but for now, I'm focused on a particular time frame in it.

I liked re-reading my book for editing and making sure everything is smoothed out. I crack myself up sometimes. So, if I’m the only person that’s amused by certain things in it, that’s okay. I made at least one person laugh. I’d read my book and it would be time for me to go to sleep – I do have a day job, after all – but wouldn’t want to put it down because “I wanted to find out what happened next.” Of course, my husband would look at me like I was nuts because I wrote the thing and I did know what happened next. Only, as a reader, I was enjoying the journey. Again, if I’m the only one that enjoys the journey, at least I’m proud of what I did. I never like putting out junk. If my name is on it, I need it to be the best it can. Can the final version be better. Probably. For now, after a couple reads, I know I have to step away and get some perspective on it before editing it again.

I am glad to be back to writing, though. It’s like a euphoria or something. It makes me smile. Could I be getting more sleep (or should I)? Yeah. Heck, I’m teaching a brand new class this year – one that I’ve lobbied for, got students to sign up for and is new to the school, so there’s no book for it – but making time to do write for me, and not just my lessons, is important to me. Happiness for the soul. Sounds corny, I know. But it’s true.

Educator. Engineer. Writer? Huh?

Yes, I'm all three. I see myself as all three. Can I make up my mind and pick a career or passion? Do I have to? I don't think so.

How did this happen? Well, contrary to what others who know me might think, it wasn't out of the blue. I've been writing in my head and on paper for years. Since when? Well, around sixth grade. When I was in college, I wanted to double major in computer engineering and theater. That didn't happen because every engineer class I had was at the same time that every theater class I needed. It was like they didn't think someone would ever be in both! So, I had to pick one.

Then, I thought that when I was ready to go back for my Master's it would be for my MFA. When I did go for my Master's, I had decided to change careers to teaching. So, I winded up getting my Master's in education. Why did I switch from the well-paid career of engineering to the not-so-well-paid career teaching? The short answer? I had done volunteer work with an organization that I was involved in as a junior/senior high student since college and wanted to continue to work with high school students. So, I became a high school math teacher. I love it. Some people are meant to teach kindergarteners and elementary school. That's not me. Whenever the thought of teaching crossed my mind it was working in a high school. Teenagers are great!

All the while, writing was there. Through junior high, high school, college, my engineering career and teaching. My writing took on different forms. I've written scripts. Short stories based on script ideas I had. And now? I've written a book. The first in a series.

Now, it's not like I have immense amount of free time. I do a lot. I'm involved in a lot. Those that know me would be shocked that I wrote a 120,000 word novel. But, they wouldn't be surprised that I completed it - only that I found the time to do it. It was important to me. I wrote every day - sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. But I wrote. And now, aside from some editing. It's done.

What's next? Well, I'm now looking into the process of getting it published. And I've started the second book. So, now it's become two projects, instead of just one. And, of course, I'm still editing the first one.